11 (Spiritual) Reasons You're Thinking About Your Ex!

Have you been thinking about your ex?

Reminiscing about the “good times”?

Looking back with rose coloured glasses? 

Or having obsessive thoughts about them and the relationship you have lost? 

If it’s been weeks, months or years after a break up and you still can’t get them out of your mind, then this may be blocking you from fully healing, moving on and stepping into your fullest potential in life and love. 

Let’s explore spiritual significance and the 11 reasons you keep thinking about your ex, and how to stop. 

1) Your Thoughts Create Your Reality. 

Every thought you have is made up of a particular frequency and vibration. That may be high and empowering you, or it could be low and draining you. 

Your mind and your thoughts emit a current that creates your reality. So becoming aware of the quality of your thoughts will help you consciously manifest what you DO want, instead of what you DON’T.

It’s important to be able to notice and transform the unhelpful thought loops and stories that you can often project when thinking about an ex.  So as not to get lost in unhealthy narratives that fill your mind and keep you feeling stuck in a hamster wheel unable to get off. 

2) There are Soul Lessons Still to Learn

All of our relationships are divine mirrors to help us evolve and learn the lessons we chose to learn as a soul. 

The closeness and connection that we experience in our most intimate relationships help reflect back what we need to know in order to heal and understand ourselves at a deeper level. 

They will show us our hidden shadows, our unconscious wounds, our fears, and insecurities and the places where we still don’t love ourselves, in order to be acknowledged 

and cleared.  

You may be thinking of your ex because you still haven’t fully learned or integrated the soul lessons you were meant to learn from that relationship.

The lessons may be centered around communication, self worth, love, emotions, limiting beliefs, unhealthy behaviors, patterns or habits that came up during that relationship or break up. 

Every relationship holds a key to your connection to yourself. 

Thinking about your ex may be pointing you to look for the lesson for growth that will help you and your soul develop further along your spiritual journey.

What are you here to learn? 

3) You are Addicted  

Thinking or reminiscing about an ex can release the same feel good and happy hormones that you felt when you first met them. 

Your brain doesn’t know if what you're thinking is real or not, if it’s past, present or future. So picturing or fantasizing about your ex creates instant feelings of happiness, love and joy with the release of neurotransmitters like oxytocin and dopamine to give you a euphoric feeling similar to what you felt in the passion fuelled early days together. 

Thinking about your ex could unconsciously be your way to get your “fix,” of “chasing the high” that you once felt being with them…. and that can feel addictive as hell!

 In fact you can get addicted to this type of “drug” just like a pain medication or any other kind of drug. This can create an emotional and physical dependency, which creates a reinforcing stimuli of pleasure making it much harder to break the habit and therefore stop thinking about them. 

4) They Were a Past Life Connection

Our relationships are an important part of our lives and fundamental in our soul growth. 

No more so are the relationships that come into our lives that are part of our soul group or family. 

You may be thinking about your ex because they are part of that soul family and you have lived many lifetimes knowing each other. 

These relationships can be hard to let go of because of the deep soul resonance and knowing you have with each other that runs through time. 

Many of these past life relationships are also here to help clear past life karma and come into your current life to play out the same type of dynamic so it can be healed. 

So notice if there’s particular repetitive patterns that show up in your relationships, because that’s more than likely karmic, and needs to be healed. 

Or if you can’t stop thinking about them because they were a profound past life remembrance that you don’t want to lose again in this lifetime. 

Working with a past life therapist can help you clear any karmic wounds and relationships that may still be present in your life. 

5) You Haven’t Processed Your Feelings

They say time is a healer but there is no linear time frame when it comes to healing from a breakup. 

Endings of relationships usually come with a lot of emotions to process and bring up feelings that you have previously suppressed or ignored somewhere in your life before. 

Which means that any unexpressed emotions can pop up at any given moment, even years down the line which in turn can make you think of an ex. 

It’s vital that you allow yourself time and space to heal and FEEL your feelings. So often people try to suppress their more negative emotions to avoid feeling the pain. You can do this through distractions, partying, drinking, shopping, dating too soon, sex, food etc. 

But when you don’t fully express your feelings they get trapped in your energy field, only to come up again or cause blockages in your energy field, relationships and life. 

So if you have been thinking about your ex again, just notice what feelings arise in your body. 

Did you allow yourself time to grieve and feel your feelings at the time of the break up or did you push them away? 

Perhaps this is your sign to let yourself feel what you never allowed yourself to before. 

It may be helpful to journal all the emotions and sensations that are present when you think of your ex. 

Write down anything that feels unresolved or unforgiven.

You can also use these emotions to bring awareness to the places where you have felt these previously and were unable to express them. Perhaps from your childhood.

Then allow yourself to cry, scream, or write everything that’s in your heart so you can release and let go of the past. 

Holding on to feelings of sadness or anger can hold you back from living a fulfilling life, manifesting your desires and meeting someone new. 

When you process your emotions, you gain a deeper understanding of yourself, your needs, and what you truly want in a relationship.

So look at this as an opportunity to let it all go now! 

6) Reminders and Routines 

Naturally by being together you created routines and things that you would repeatedly do together as a couple. From places, food or even habits. 

Continuing to do these things in your life can easily bring up memories and emotions associated with your ex. 

Continuing the same routine may even have you bumping into them at the gym or the cafe you used to go to together. 

It may be helpful to change your routine for a bit. Or try somewhere new to prevent you from the constant reminders of the void they left in your life and lifestyle when you broke up. 

7) You Have Unfinished Business 

“People go but how they left always stays”

Thinking about an ex is indicative in the manner in which the ending of a relationship happened. 

Perhaps it was a messy break up, where cheating was involved or you didn’t really get a clear answer to why you broke up. 

Ending a relationship like that with unanswered questions, no resolution, no forgiveness, or no real closure can leave you ruminating on that relationship for years.  

Your mind loves to cling to the fear of the unknown and to figure out anything that feels unresolved or unfinished. It will continue to live in the past by bringing up thoughts and memories in order to try and solve the mystery of why things ended. 

Holding on to stories and fears like this can keep you feeling stuck, in a rut or repeating the same unhealthy relationship patterns. 

It’s important to understand that you may never get the closure you want, so you need to let go of the story, clear the energies associated with it and forgive the things you don’t know. 

8) It Was Short Lived 

If your relationship was short lived then it can be easy to fantasize about your ex because you didn’t have time to see all of their flaws and all the reasons they were not your perfect match. 

If your ex ended the relationship before it could fully get started, then you probably didn’t get to see all of their unhealthy behaviors and unconscious habits and programs that you would’ve if you had been with them longer. 

This can make it easy to look back with rose coloured glasses, believing them to be amazing (even though they ended things or didn’t fight for you) because you didn’t get to see who they truly were or all of their red flags before breaking up. 

Not having any proof of their misgivings can create a false narrative in your mind about who your ex actually was. Which can lead you to believe they were the best you have ever had. When I’m reality, they weren’t …. You just didn’t get to see WHY they weren’t! 

Bringing yourself back to reality by anchoring yourself in the knowledge that if you were meant to be then you would be. That if they were “the one” then they would’ve fought for you or never let you go in the first place, can help you see the situation for what it really is instead of fantasizing about what it could’ve been. 

9 ) You Haven’t Cleared Your Energy 

Everything is energy and when we get into a relationship with someone, we essentially create invisible energetic cords and contracts with each other. 

This comes through our emotions, intentions, behaviors and through sharing DNA. 

Through sexual energy exchange, you can absorb their emotions, beliefs, and patterns into your field. These can even be created through unbalanced dynamics like codependency.

This can keep you telepathically connected to your ex, and in some cases they are still feeding on your energy leaving you feeling drained, confused and exhausted.  

Which could ultimately be the reason you can’t stop thinking about them. 

Doing at home energy clearing rituals or working with a trained energy healer who specializes in relationship entanglements will help you release them with love, setting you free and feeling more yourself again.  

10) You’re Going Through a Spiritual Awakening

A relationship or a breakup can be a very powerful catalyst for a spiritual awakening. 

When you begin to awaken, you start to look at life and your relationships from a new lens. 

You can begin to see and understand the nature and texture of the different experiences in your life and see yourself being universally connected to all humanity. 

Going through an awakening helps you reevaluate who you are, and why you are here. Which can make you look back on the past to understand the bigger picture that each relationship offered you for your soul’s growth. 

Awakenings can also be lonely at times, with a deep desire to go inside for self reflection and realization. 

These shifts can result in many of your current relationships and friendships falling away because they are no longer in alignment with who you are. This can lead to feelings of loneliness which can also make you start thinking about an ex or past relationships.  

11) You Feel Unfulfilled 

Another reason you may suddenly start thinking of your ex is if you feel unfulfilled in some way or that something in your life is lacking. 

It’s common for you to use a relationship as a means to fill a void in your life. The security of a relationship or attention from someone acts as a way to feel validated or to fill your emotional cup.

If you find yourself thinking about your ex, then notice what was it that you felt they offered your life that you feel void of with them gone?

Perhaps it was security, love, connection, or stability? 

Or perhaps being with them made you feel like you were good enough because you were chosen. This can often be a common belief many people have about themselves. 

Being in a relationship can act as a bandaid. As a form of external validation to fulfill a part of yourself that feels empty, unloveable or not good enough in some way. 

Whilst your relationships can absolutely help reinforce positive beliefs and fulfill certain needs. It’s just as important to be able to source love and your sense of worthiness from within. 

If you have found yourself suddenly thinking about your ex, ask yourself if you feel like something is missing in your life right now.

If so, what can you do for yourself and meet your own needs?

It’s Time to Grow

Coming to terms with the fact that you will think of your ex at points will help alleviate any unnecessary negativity towards yourself for “not being able to get over them.”

Using your recurring thoughts about them to give you important insights into your suppressed emotions, old relationship patterns, unfinished business or unlearned lessons can help you see clearly what you need to work on in your current and future relationships.

You see, by accepting that you will think of your ex as someone you can learn from instead of someone who is holding you back, you can focus on your growth and understanding yourself and your needs for your soul's evolution. 

Talking through issues or working with a spiritual relationship coach or healer can be extremely valuable, especially in understanding why any romantic attachments to an ex still exist in your life. 

They can also help you integrate the lessons, clear your karma, cultivate more self love, understand yourself at a deep soul level, heal from your past, quantum leap in your spiritual ascension and manifest more soul aligned relationships into your life. 

If you are on your spiritual journey and desire a deeper connection to yourself and others through looking at the mirrors of your closest relationships then you can book a session with me, join me in one of my personalized programs or join the membership.